Aesthetic Chaos

Hey, So this one is just to vent my frustration at the very fact that I do not trust one single boy as far as I could throw them. (Which wouldn't be very far because I'm really weak and can barely pick up an egg) I have no faith in men. Full stop. And here are the reasons why... Mostly every guy that has talked to me has a girlfriend. And they seem to deem it morally acceptable to converse, meet and sleep with other women all whilst claiming to be in a monogamous relationship online. They see you as a 'treat' A 'one won't hurt' kind of rendezvous. Even to the point where I've had newly married men who have just stepped off the plane from their sweet sweet honeymoon attempt to hit me up. And if that doesn't justify the 'men think with their dicks' quote then I don't know what does. It just occurs to me that if even newly weds can do quickly be sneaky behind their wives back then there is no real love and fairytales ar

Hey all, Long time. No speak. I've been too busy swealtering in this heat and trying to inject ice cream into my veins in the hopes that it will cool me down and make me appear cool and inviting to any possible future relationships. Hope you haven't missed my ramblings too much. Everybody past 20 should have experienced a first love by now, and let me know if you've been through the same feelings because it's both a sunset and a sandstorm and you can't have one without the other. Much like ice cream and jelly at a kids party when you were six... Jesus I need to just go and get some ice cream so I'll stop writing about it. Ice cream. Mmm. Firstly, love is an addiction. My mum warned me about drugs on the street but never the ones with two eyes a smile and a heartbeat. I was lured in. A false sense of security. They become your life jacket in the most fucking horrendous storms, Without them you cannot breathe. The

Why do people say the phrase 'I lost them' when someone passes away? You didn't loose them down the back of the fruit and veg aisle did you?!  Such a weird phrase to label it when someone dies. But here I am writing a blog post on 'losing you' so. Fuck it. The pain that surged through me when I saw you take your last breath and I felt your fingers slowly release grip with my hand was similar to my skin being ripped from the quick of your nail and being peeled back snapping tendons and veins by virtuously plucking them out one by one. Exposing my raw flesh to the agonising emotion of my heart freezing and crystallising over then shattering into a million shards all over the hospital floor as I screamed with every natural instinct within me for you to stay and 'don't leave me'. The sound that came from within me was like a roar, a real earthy sound that escaped my chest trying to pull her beautiful soul back down to earth before she was taken