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Showing posts from May, 2017

My mind is a minefield.

I think everybody has something that ticks off a bomb in their head that sends a marching band of bright flashing lights and loud crashing noises that point to a gigantic sign in your head that screams...
'IM CRAZY!'

Whether that bomb is...
Road rage
A boyfriend
A girlfriend
Parents
Or your nan flashing her M&S knickers to the milkman. (Again)

Mine?
Mine is a beast.
A cruel, sticky, grotesque beast.

Who threw all his baggage into his case and rammed it into my brain on a whim. Following the days after my mum got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.

You lot may know him by his 007 agent name: DEPRESSION.

But I prefer to call him Jim.

Jim is a cock.

Me and him DONT get on.

He thinks that it's beyond hilarious to send surges of waves 'just when I'm feeling on top of the world' to tear me down from my golden tower and leave me drowning, gasping for air whilst his cruel razored claws scratch and scar my lungs leaving them raw to the sting of the salty sea water.
A co…

Sixty five roses

Hello you cheeky lot!
Then again...
If this is just 40 year old fragile me peering through feeling nostalgic then I guess... hello... you cheeky... weirdo?
Anybody who has had the strangest pleasure to meet me will be bored by the fact that I have CF... Cunt Fuck syndrome....
Only joking (kinda)  CF stands for - Cystic Fibrosis. In short... A lung disease that also affects the digestive system and any other possible organs it can wrap its sticky cyst ridden claws around.
I mean, for christs sake. Of all the things I could be shit at it had to be bloody breathing didn't it? Just about the one key element to be able to exist. Brilliant. Fab. Whizzer.
Also the fact that my life expectancy is between 30-40years old (here's the inside joke I mentioned earlier) would mean that really I should have been... Married by 7. Had kids by 11. Installed by mid-life grape fuelled crisis at 20. ... and be happily retired and drinking pina coladas whilst cruising the carribian at 30.
But the reality being, I…

An introduction to my aesthetic chaos...

So...

How do I even start this?

Welcome to my life through crisp black and white text.

I guess.

Where you can read and imagine what it's like to peer through the indescribable mess of Pandora's box that mimicks my life.

I'm a 24 year old British girl with the ability to inject sarcasm and witty humour into every socially acceptable human interaction I can grasp onto.
Okay, okay... perhaps I am being incredibly generous with the term 'witty humour', perhaps being a complete and utter nerd under all this facade is appearing more and more realistic as time ticks on by.

I've been contemplating creating a blog for some time and have finally consumed enough sugar ridden items to fuel this ludicrous idea.

This blog will contain my ever increasingly hopeless attempt at life as a young 20 something, independent girl with nothing to loose and a worrying love of chicken.

I'll talk about my physical health, mental health, love, loss and throw in the odd rant about why my…